My Monday nights are spoken for once again. Please don’t suggest we go to dinner for the next few nights. I like dinner, and I probably (maybe) like you. But the answer will be no.
The new Bachelor, Chris Soules, is a farmer from Iowa. He is looking for a wife to join him on the farm which, sadly, eliminated me from contention. Well, that plus my age (old) and present physical condition (semi-sloppy). But mostly it’s my city slicker-ness that kept me from auditioning for this season.
It has been well-established that I would have been more excited to see Marquel as Bachelor than Farmer Chris – if you’re reading this Chris, NO OFFENSE – but I’ll be watching just the same.
As always, I do my best to avoid reading spoilers and would appreciate it if you’d avoid posting them here. It’s not because I believe in love or anything. I just enjoy living life with blinders on.
Here are my questions going into this season:
- Have you read this amazing Chris Harrison profile by Taffy Brodesser-Akner?
- Is there a bigger age spread among the contestants than usual?
- Has Amber ever seen this show? Based on her shirt choice, all signs point to no. Kara‘s shirt is bad too but I feel like Chris might like her.
- Who goes home on the first night? My money is on Alissa and Bo and Carly and Juelia.
- Is Ashley S. actually 34 or are her hair and the photo just really, really bad?
- Do any cruise ships dock in Iowa? <no>
- What’s up with Mackenzie‘s boobs?
- Is Nikki related to Snooki?
- Will Reegan be The Crazy One?
- Can I have Samantha‘s pretty hot pink dress?
Will you be watching?
Related:
Contender power rankings
Des has a Bachelor bracket
